


Despair

by JadeSpeedster17



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Accidently deleted this, OOpS!, Poor Rook is hurting, Sadness, Somewhat Comfort, The world is fucked, reposted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 13:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17509757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeSpeedster17/pseuds/JadeSpeedster17
Summary: When you are in a bunker and have time to think about all of it. What would be your thoughts to know they are all dead?





	Despair

His eyes stared up at the ceiling of the bunker, glazed over in deep thought. Four days, four long days of this, he wanted to think he was dreaming. But no matter how many times he slept, he found himself waking not to Boomer nosing his neck or Hurk’s snoring in an abandon cabin. Just silence, sometimes Joseph’s soft prays. The radio looped the same thing over and over again. It just seemed like a cycle, and still he refused to say a word.

Joseph had tried for a while to get him to open up, just Jasper refused to. He didn’t want to open up, and Joseph merely took it as a sign he just wasn’t ready. That was until one day, it was hard to tell time now. There was no clock that worked down here, as Dutch didn’t seem to care for one to change its batteries.

The routine went on like this, get up, eat something light to save on rations, even though they had enough to do two life times. Joseph would read to himself or sometimes to the deputy, if he was even listening. They’d eat a bit before going to bed, it was just a repetitive cycle. Maybe the full weight of it all hasn’t kicked in, or maybe this was there way of coping?

The silence was sometimes just awful, but other days it was bearable. Being the last two people possibly alive, they had to learn to live with each other. So they did, compromises were made, strict rules of privacy, and things went by smoothly. Joseph knew eventually the silence will be broken, he just didn't know how. So, they went on their days for the next few weeks or so, maybe months, time was hard to tell when your underground with no clocks. Joseph was losing count himself, but he did his best to keep up with it all.

Things were going well for them, everything holding up. Jasper remained quiet as ever, though any mention of Joseph's family would make him retreat away to his 'room'. It was looking like now, that the silence will take another few days to break.

That was until one day. Joseph was already up ready to read out loud again after having breakfast. The deputy wasn’t there however, Joseph figured he slept in when he heard a soft sob.

Getting up and walked to the sound to see his unwilling companion here sitting on the bunker. His fists were clenched, holding his flannel shirt form yesterday in it, his face was red from either anger or crying, Joseph didn’t know. But, he knew something was bothering Jasper as he sat on the chair across from him.

Neither said anything, before Joseph sighed, “Do you feel regret, child?” he asked softly, Jasper mad ea small movement to show he was listening. “For killing them, John, Faith, and Jacob?” he asked him. Not sure himself if he wanted to know go the sake of saying Jasper’s soul or if he wanted to know the person who killed his family was just so heartless to do so.

There was more silence, and Joseph thought for a moment he wasn’t going to get anything out of Jasper, before a soft voice said. “How?” in almost a whisper of a tone. “How did this all happen?” he asked softly. “Hope’s County, possibly the world, it’s all in flames now, the air filled with radiation.” He said softly looking at the floor. “The Collapse as you called it, I thought it was just a myth. I thought I was helping people…” Jasper told Joseph before he started to sob.

“It’s all my fault!” he cried out as he sobbed a bit. “I tried so hard to do the right thing, I thought I was doing the right thing. I took lives because of it, I thought it’d be worth it. Despite the pain, John, Faith,” his voice failed at the last name, “And Jacob…” he whispered looking at the ground as if trying to will away the pain.

“All because people wanted me to save them, and told me killing them was the only way, that I had no other choice?” he voiced it as a question before looking up at Joseph quickly tears running down his faith.

“I WAS SUCH A FOOL! A FAUILER!” he wailed out at him as Joseph stared at him with sad blue eyes. “I was supposed to save them, and I couldn’t even do that. I had made that promise that I’d save them, where I never could help others in my past.”

Jasper looked down down a bit again, his eyes wide with pain, “And everyone, Mary May, Jerome, Sharky, Jess, Hurk, and Nick and his child… I tried so hard, and I failed them all.” He whispered out in pure despair, he met Joseph’s eyes for a moment.

“I left them, all to die out there…” he finished out as the full weight of it all hit him at once and fell forward as Joseph caught him. Sobbing loudly into the other’s arms and his body shock as he cried out loudly unable to stop it.

Joseph for his part was silent now, as he held Jasper in his arms, and petted down his raven black hair. He tried to find the words now to help him, but nothing came to mind. Because he felt the exact same thing.

**Author's Note:**

> So this got deleted on accident, sorry for that guys, but I reposted it! I wasn't paying attention when cleaning out old works I didn't need anymore and weren't doing good.


End file.
